not good enough

I've never drawn or painted a lot in my life, but I have always enjoyed it. But it's been months & months, or years, even, since I had the courage to grab it again. Why ? A massive creative (or artist) block. Like ... a phenomenal one. Why ? Well, the answer is easy : I've never felt good enough, and after years of getting to know friends & people who are artists and whom I admire, things have gotten even worse.

But sincerely, how stupid is that ? Is it necessary to be an art genius to paint or draw ? Of course not. But when I compare what I see with my eyes & how I (badly) managed to reproduce it, this is where the deception occurs.

Too exigeant ? A desire to paint things as they are & not succeeding ? Perfectionnism ? I don't know, maybe everything at the same time. But fact is it totally blocked me. And another fact is that I do want this stupid, vicious circle to stop.

After playing a little question game last weekend on IG, I put words on this creative block & maybe it served as "click". I've grabbed the watercolors last week, see :

Painting maiden hair fern was probably not the easiest start, but I had fun, and whipped this in a matter of minute only, after preparing lunch & before everyone arrived from school for lunch.

And yesterday, as the sun was shining brightly on my bedroom's desk/vanity, I spent almost two hours playing with watercolors. (you can click the images)

I tried to do something related to my naturally dyed scarves, and maybe this will take me somewhere eventually, who knows ?

I am aiming to evolve from "not good enough" to "not as good as xxx but enjoying it anyway". I'm not aiming to painting better, I don't have a goal, I just want to have pleasure & more confidence when doing it. What hasn't helped me neither was feeling blocked when facing a blank page. Not knowing where to start nor what to paint/draw.

I would have probably joined an e-course or e-class like Lisa Congdon's or Alisa Burke's, but I know from experience that I hate following someone else's rules when it comes to such a subject. These are not for me.

Does it have to be perfect for being beautiful ? The answer is no.
Does it have to be realistic for being beautiful ? The answer is still no.
Does practice makes perfect ? I do think so.

I'll be closing this post, sharing a series of links. First two interesting posts on The Craft Sessions : "The gap between taste and ability" and "Moving on from perfectionnism". Then a long series of artists (painters & drawers) that happen to be friends (but of course, the list is NOT exhaustive !!!) :

Cathy - Geninne - Lori - Tiel - Kathleen - Olga - Denise - Kristy - Holly - Jenny - Arounna - Jill

Do you want your own experience to share here in the comments ? Or links to other interesting articles on the subject ? Please feel free to share.

xo

Sonia