not a post I expected to write

June is still keeping me busy. End of school year for both my sons, on June 30th for my youngest, at the end of this week for my eldest. (soon 13) I helped this morning with my youngest's class, but since yesterday noon, my mama's heart is a bit heavy.

Yesterday just before noon, we got a phone call from my eldest's school, telling us to come pick him because he had lost his temper in class. It was coming out of nowhere, and he is not the kind of person to loose his temper for no reason. The reason of this, was that he was being bullied (not physically) & at some point during the class, it was too much. He didn't hurt his bullier (is that the name for this ?), if you wonder. My son talked the same afternoon, with the school nurse, about his feelings, and our reaction. This afternoon he's supposed to meet the principal assistant (sorry, again I'm not usure about the right word), and hubby will meet this person tomorrow morning for talking about the situation.

Never I would have thought this would happen to one of my children. Why, I don't know. And I would have never thought my own son would be ashamed or scared to tell me or my husband about it. We are definitely not tyrans, and they are free to do a lot of things, even though we set the limits. Freedom with limits, normal, right ? I have repeated him that both of them (him or his little brother) are free to talk about everything, the good, the bad, the stupid, questionning, everything. And specially if they are being the victims of something.

He was bullied for maximum a month (according to what he told me after I asked), but nothing showed through. He was NOT refusing or reluctant to go to school, and things seemed to be normal.

The boy who bullied my son, kept on telling him that he was fat & should be on a diet. My son is definitely not fat, he may not be slim nor fit, but he is not fat. So that bullying is an extra nonsense to me.

The boy who bullied my son has an angelic face (I know from the school photos), you just wouldn't say he was so cruel.

Now more than ever, I/we need to teach my/our sons :
- to be stronger (mentally & physically)
- to communicate with us more
- to trust adults as people who can hear their problems (the school reaction was very professional, I was impressed)
- to understand that some people do or say things (that they shouldn't) because they probably have issues themselves (at home, at school, or divorcing parents etc)
- that physical violence is never ever a solution
- and that there is a solution to every problem
- and this is the hardest of all, to let what people say, not penetrate their head, just like water drops will roll over ducks' feathers.

Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be a victim.
Accept no one's definition of your life.
Define yourself.

- Harvey Fierstein -

I really needed to have this off my shoulder/heart, sorry if this post was not something you were expecting, or something pleasant or nice. Bullying is not pleasant nor nice, nothing to be ashamed of, and something be talked about publicly. I think that if you have never talked about this problem with your child(ren), you should do it soon. Thing is we HAD talked about it with ours. Do make sure everything is alright.

If you have something to say about the subject, the comment section is open to everyone, even if you have never commented here before. Thank you for reading.

ox

Sonia