here, there, elsewhere but where ?

I'm interrrupting my summer posts of our trip early July, because my mind's a bit of a mess right now, and I need to talk about it here. So it might be a long & messy one. (and for you, quite an uninteresting one too, I'm sorry)

If you're new to my blog (hello !!) or didn't know or remember, I'm going to remind you our path to where we are now. (side note : we've been renters all the way)

Hubby & I married in the summer 1999.
We moved from the south to the Parisian suburbs in September 1999. (school he attended there)
We moved to the south but not as much south as we used to live, in July 2000.
We had our first baby there, in June 2002.
We moved to the Parisian suburbs again in October 2003 (another formation for hubby)
We moved back to the south, at my parents, waiting to find a place to live, in March 2004.
We had our second baby in August 2004.
We moved to our "own" place, in September 2004.
We moved to the Parisian suburbs once again in July 2007.
We moved back to the south in Montpellier in July 2009.
We moved down in the same street (for something larger & better) in December 2013.

So we are in Montpellier, in an apartment right in the historical center, with no garden, no terrace or balcony, no outdoor. The town has been getting much hotter & the people at night have been being very much noisier & disrespectful. Apart from when both our boys were babies (they were awful sleepers, during over two years each), I never had any problems with sleeping. But this year apparently marks the start of sleep troubles. And believe me, it's not making me very happy. There is not an evening & a night without a concert, loud music from nearby bars, drunk people in the streets shouting & singing & fighting, without neighbours having guests over, till 2am, with wide open windows. (of course since it is hot !)

Don't envy the south. Don't envy the hottness day and night from early June to early October. Sounds lovely but it is not. You certainly wouldn't envy streets that smell like man's pee, or dogs' poops, as soon as it's warm, no you wouldn't. Don't envy the lack of respect (in all kinds of aspects of daily life) of half the population here. Don't envy the real estate crazy prices, here you pay for the sun exclusively. Because there aren't that many jobs, people here don't have a large purchasing power, and 1/5 of the population is unemployed. South is poor, let's say it, it's not a cliché.

I'm so over with this heat (it has cooled down, but every year it's meant to be worse & worse !), I'm so very over with the noise (this year's been the worst I've ever experienced), I'm longing to live in a place with an outdoor, to be in the garden, dye, read, eat, relax, dry my laundry on the line ... I'm not talking about something large, I don't think quantity is better than quality.

This year, more than other years, hubby & I have realized that we are not in synch with our (native !) region anymore. The four of us are introverts, have always been & will always be. We prefer the calm to the animation. We don't enjoy the heat that much anymore (at all), we don't go to the beach to get a tan, we certainly don't have a pool (since we don't have a garden), we both work from home (except the days he has to go to Paris) ... We feel we are in the wrong place.

I think you've understood that we won't be staying here indefinitely. No moving this year, but next year might be the year. I don't know.

We are currently in the process of selling my parents' summer house (my dad inherited it when my grandma passed away, but this house's been holding weird & unhappy memories for me, and I'm happy to get rid of it). The people who had been renting my parents' main home (where they used to live until my father passed away in October 2011) are moving out at the end of the month. We are seriously considering to sell this house as well, and have enough money to purchase a home away from this region.

So we've been looking online at houses. Lots of them. Just out of curiosity, for the prices & surfaces, since we won't move until both my parents' houses will be sold. For one, it's almost done, for the other, it'll be less easy.

And my mind's a mess, a real mess. My mind's been messed up because of the very weird sleep pattern I have been getting for a month now. A mess because I live in the moment (no other way, hey !), I'm still rearranging pieces of furnitures here (moving from one room to another), and because I'm thinking about the future. I don't know where, I don't know when, I don't know nothing at all. But I think about it. I know it will happen.

Life can be even better elsewhere. Living in the south for the only sake of the sun doesn't do it anymore for us. We moved so many times mainly in the purpose to go back to our native region, and now we are seriously thinking of leaving it. Isn't it ironic, don't you think ? (like Alanis would say)

I know I'll adapt anywhere. I know it'll be the same for hubby. As for our sons (13 & 11), I can't say. Maybe another reason for messing my mind even more. So many questions without any answers.

More words from Alanis ...

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out.

Thanks for reading, you lovely people.



PS : my mom would be moving with us, needless to say.